Making a marriage work

Marriage is something that both people have to work at.  In many cases though, it seems that divorce is the only option.

Money is, in most cases, the reason why a marriage does not work.  A family can be financially sound, but spending money on frivolous things can tear a family apart.

In order to make make a marriage work, a couple has to sit down and figure out why their marriage is not working out.

A family counselor can help mend a broken relationship before it is too late.  I highly recommend seeing one if your marriage is not working out.

For those who are curious, I have an example of something that works for many couples on TV.  I am not a family counselor, but this method is used time and time again for families who argue over money.

1.  All bills and expenses for the family are to be paid 50/50.  This includes rent, food, supplies, car insurance, utilities, etc.  Anything that the family uses/or shares as a unit.  The amount each spouse pays will have be negotiated.  You may agree to 30/70 or some other ratio.

2.  Extra money for emergency family expenses will be put into the bills and expenses bank account.  This could be, for example, $100/month.  The amount you put into the bills and expense account will depend on what you and your spouse think you need.

3.  If there is extra money in the joint account at the end of the year, the spouses can divide it amongst themselves based on the ratio agreed upon in #1.

3.  Keep a separate bank account for each person and one account for paying the bills and expenses for the family.  If the husband and wife both put money into a joint account, there are usually arguments over what the other person has spent their money on.  Having a separate bank account for each person prevents this from happening.  The joint account is the money contributed by the couple to pay the bills.  The joint bank account is to be used only for the stuff that you have listed in #1 and #2.

4.  Each person is responsible for paying for his/her own things.  Quite often when one partner makes a purchase, he/she does not have enough to pay for it.  This is the reason why a joint account usually causes problems.  He/she ends up spending the other spouses money also.  Make it clear that there is no borrowing allowed.  Borrowing can cause problems in the future

5.  Each person has his/her own spending money and can spend it as he/she pleases.  This seems to be quite a problem.  When one spouse complains that the other does not need this or that, an argument almost always ensues.  Therefore, as long as your spouse can afford it, he/she can buy it.

6.  Stick with the plan you make.  This can be hard to do, but if you want your marriage to work, you will have to do it.

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